Jon

Man you Southerner's and Easterner's are just all up in the hils when it comes to truth in lying. What Beth witnesses was a clan of Gypies that are based in TN and a couple other states, almost all are related and come spring/summer they hit the road to points, North, South, East and WEST. Yes they hit the Western States hardest and almost always start jobs then disappear half way through them. They get paid by asking for half up front and the other half in when the job is half done regardless of what the job is. Once paid PESTO their gone. The Feds have been onto them for years but seldom does anyone ever call them when they hit an area. Had Beth called they would have been swarming her neighborhood arresting them. First sign was TN license plate, second no bus. license or insurance.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2005 when... 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen. 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list. AND NOW U R LAUGHING at YOURSELF?

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22. #9 - You can keep one handgun at home, and have another for when your on the road. #8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times. #7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you keep another handgun for a backup. #6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo. #5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space. #4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month. #3 - A handgun doessn't ask, "Do these new grips make me look fat?" #2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it. Here's the big reason a handgun is favored over a woman- #1 - You can buy a silencer for a handgun. Amen.

Man would love to pull the second one off someday if I ever got pulled over for speeding. But first I would have to learn to keep a straight face!

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500's: These are interesting... Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs." There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying "dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway. Hence the saying a "thresh hold." (Getting quite an education, aren't you?) In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme, "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning deaths. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous. Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust." Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake." England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer." And that's the truth... Now, whoever said that History was boring ! ! ! Share these facts with a friend.

Whatever your inner feelings are about people California has proven you can be a FRUIT, popular, rich and somehow find a way to pay off the jury and walk out a free molester. Sorry but my personal feelings are he is 100% guilty. Face it folks, for years he pays off parents with up to $500,000 to keep quite about what he does to their little boys and it is a known fact yet this nutty jury says NOT QUILTY. How much did his people pay each jury member and how did they get to them is the bigger question. Agree or disagree my opinion is jacko is a molester. I could live with him being a homo but to pick on little boys or in some molesters cases little girls goes against my live and let live attitude. Someone needs to make a eunuch out of him. (If Beth or others feel I should be removed because I spoke my mind freely here so be it.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks. Because of Redneck jokes, here are some takes on how Southern folks look at Northerners (or how Northerners sometimes think of themselves YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF... Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside." You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY. You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts). You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits. You don't know what a moon pie is. You've never had an RC Cola. You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled. You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. You have no idea what a polecat is. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog. You don't have bangs. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes." You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich. You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show. You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach. You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway. You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. You have more than one professional sports team in your home state. You call binoculars opera glasses. You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice) You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie) You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's. You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. None of your fur coats are homemade.

Phillip is just asking for it. LOL referring to two or more people as "Y'all," Guilty Sheesh even us Native Californian's can say it when we meet up with um, Y'all! You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside." BBQ = food. GRILL = "to cook outside" If it is good tasting food who cares how it is cooked as long as it is not spicy. You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts). Pork rinds, fried potato chips, funnel cake. Does road kill count too? what if a good road kill is a grillin? Had funnel cake for first time at Dollyland, sure was good too, I think it was funnel cake, long round sugar coated thing like over grown pretzel. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits. Breakfast = grits, bacon/sausage, eggs, toast. Cream of wheat is used to hang wallpaper. Grits is for sure a Southern dish, and I tried them in one of those nice county restaurants called um, well shucks I plum forgot but there all over the South. Nice good food too. You don't know what a moon pie is. I know what one is, and where to get one within 5 minutes or less. RIght I don't. You've never had an RC Cola. Again, where to get one within 5 minutes or less. Don't drink any kind of soda nor beer but RC used to be big in CA. You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled. Fried. Any other way is just wrong. YUCKY You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork. huh?[/b [/b] What I say, finger eatin food. You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips. Caught, killed, and eaten both. Seen em, watched my dad twist their necks, chop them off, hand it to me to de-feather it, give to mom to cook. All I will say about cows is I used to serve slaughter houses, nough said. You have no idea what a polecat is. Or smells like... Guilty, hey now I am a Californian ok. You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog. We do it for laughs. I seen a lot of silly things you Southerner's do but don't laugh, well not to loudly anyway. You don't have bangs. Men do not have bangs. Wanna bet? come to Hollywood or West Hollywood CA. You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show. My son will likely be a pro TV fisherman. 14yrs old and hookin up 140lb marlins already. Now here I will say Congrats to your son, that is one heck of a fish, did you help at all ? You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Cokes." Any carbonated beverage is a Coke. Except Pepsi, that's for northerners. And RC is a cola, but not a "coke" Been through the cook museum, so what. Besides asking for a Pepsi in Atlanta or for that matter anyplace in Georgia is asking for a stabbing in the back. You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich. Or a banana sandwich. A WHAT? You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show. Vacation? There are local to me. Perhaps a weekend... What's a vacation, is that when you stop work for a few hours of rest? We got them gun n knife shows but the city of Los Angeles wants to outlaw them, in fact CA wants to outlaw them. Now here is when I say I am NOT a Californian. You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. Does the trailer count? Ok well allow your trailer to count, this time only but don't get caught without it! You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores. No large animals. John Deere and Remington hats for me. Yeah I got one says Colt, Thompson, er wait that submachine gun is not to be talked about, sorry. um, got one that says and this is the truth: " I am not hard of hearing, I am ignoring you!". You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping. Huh? How hard is it to spit out a window? Yeah and the poor chap in the back seat with his window open just got it splashed in his face! You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice) I know whole families with two first names. That is a Southern thing. You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie) HEY!! What's wrong with calling momma Jimmy? Does a Boy names Sue count? You don't have Maw-maw's & Pawpaw's. Sadly, I no longer have a Maw-Maw or Paw-Paw. But, I almost cried when my two year old just started calling my dad Paw-Paw. Nope, Mother, Mom, Dad and Father, when little mommy and daddy. Man you Southerner's is truly STRANGE You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. I find it horribly rude when I'm on the subway and someone just walks off when I'm just trying to talk to them... People down here don't behave like that...[/b SUBWAYS, that's a sandwhich place! None of your fur coats are homemade. Bear skin for me. Sorry Daniel Boone, ain't got no fur coat, I am a working man! Now I do say you had some cute answers so I just had to spoil them.

Ditto what Jason said.

LOL, cute one.

Celeste wins the Nobel Prize for being HONEST. Lawyer Mr. Doolittle, please send your bill to Jacko so his account can pay you off! Good information. All I ask is for "IT" to sell his property here and move to some other state.

Whats done is done regardless of guilt or not. What I would like to see is the courts force open all those confidential papers parents had to sign before he paid them off. I would venture a guess there is enough in those papers to convict him and lock him up for life. As for him being a homosexual I doubt it, he is fixated on little boys, not grown men. He only married and had a couple kids to try and hide what he really is and a lot of molesters and homosexual do that, lesbians too.

Proof that frame and money buy your way out of things. What really got me was he even admits sleeping with boys, I mean what more did they have to hear.

There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years. The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke. The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would choke and gasp for air. Nearly every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping one in the morning. He told her that he couldn't help it. She begged him to see a doctor to see if anything could be done but the husband wouldn't hear of it. He told her that it was just a natural bodily function and then he would laugh in her face as she tried to wave the fumes away with her hands. She told him that there was nothing natural about it and if he didn't stop, he was one day going to "fart his guts out." The years went by and the wife continued to suffer and the husband continued to ignore her warnings about "farting his guts out" until one Thanksgiving morning. Before dawn, the wife went downstairs to prepare the family feast. She fixed pudding, mashed potatoes, gravy and of course a turkey. While she was taking out the turkey's innards, a thought occurred to the wife as to how she might solve her husband's problem. With a devilish grin on her face, she placed the turkey guts into a bowl and quietly walked upstairs hours before her flatulent husband would awake. While he was still soundly asleep, she pulled back the covers and then gently pulled back her husband's jockey shorts. She then placed all of the turkey guts into her husband's underwear, pulled them up, replaced the covers and tiptoed back downstairs to finish preparing the family meal. Several hours later she heard her husband awake with his normal loud-ass trumpeting. This was soon followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as her husband ran to the upstairs bathroom. The wife could not control herself and her eyes began to tear up as she rolled on the floor laughing. After years of putting up with him she had finally gotten even. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants, with a look of horror in his eyes. She bit her lip to keep from laughing and she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right - all those years you warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well you always told me that I would end up farting my guts out one of these days and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God and these two fingers, I think I got 'em all back in."

OFFEND nothing, this forum is for fun and you posted in fun. Speaking of degree's just where did "Rev" Jackson send his 5 bucks to get his from?

Yes but I don't come cheap! And while I am working for you who is going to list my books, pull those sold, box them and ship them? Hmm, my degree in law is from TJ, Mexico but that should not matter.

Espec's is famous for saying they have the best parts and prices yet ship wrong items that are not worthy of use. I too have had my share of them but oh their attitude is so good for all their competitors, what I cannot figure out is why John A. has never understood the word CUSTOMER is always right. Espec's has been raked over the coals for years yet they survive with the new guys who learn the hard way. As to Lowe's question NO is my answer too. Now look at recieving anything sent to you that you did not order regardless of cost you get to keep free. You do not even have to notify the company. The law says if a business sends you things regardless of the cost of it if you did not order it you are allowed to keep it and do not have to notify them they sent it. The first time they bill you for it ask for proof you ordered it, when they cannot provide it tell them to stop billing you since you never ordered it to start with. Law offices of Jon. :)

Worst wind I have been in was in 1990 while riding my motorcycle though Albuquerque to Toas NM. Remy was on bike and towing our little camping trailer. All I can say is for the whole time till we got out of Santa Fe it was blowing so bad I had to lean hard into it to keep from being pushed over. Bike weighted around 970 pounds plus Remy and I and trailer with camping gear and stuff in it. Once out of Santa Fe it was nice riding all the ways up to Toas. I know I live on the wild side and would love to experience being in a gail or cane, call me reckless but I seek that stuff, like roller coaster rides, the faster and longer, steeper the more fun. Yet I do feel for you guys that have to live in the path of one not knowing till it lets down who gets hit bad and who is spared any damage. Tropical Wave, I believe the Coast Guard has boats that are suppose to flip in weather like that then righting itself without ever sinking, now there is something I would love to experience, a boat totally flipping over under water then righting itself.

Come on guys, you scared of a little WIND? Heck I love breezy weather and wish we had more of it here in So. CA. I mean we have a great vibrator which reeeellllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaxxxxxxxxxxssssssssss ME but need that breeze to blow dry my hair.

Hi, I have thought of adding window cleaning to my service, would like to get an idea of price range, technique. How many of you guys and gals do windows for your commerical/industrial accounts. Home owners are not my thing so I am sure prices would be different. Jon

Words Women Use Fine This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Five Minutes If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. Nothing This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine". Go Ahead This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT! Loud Sigh Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing". That's Okay This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. Thanks This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics? 29 have been accused of spousal abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad checks 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses 3 have done time for assault 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges 8 have been arrested for shoplifting 21 are currently defendants in lawsuits 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year Can you guess which organization this is? Give up yet? It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group of Idiots that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.

Interesting indeed. What I posted was sent to me with no other links so had to assume it came from somewhere else knowing who sent it to me.

Never had a problem with mine, just open the vent cap and it would pour out fast. CA. outlawed the cans with vent caps and went with some worthless enviro style that was suppose to keep the fumes inside but took forever to empty, perhaps TX went that way too. If so do what I did, take a drive to AZ and buy a few there, I bought 3 diesel and 3 gas. I still have two of each and if there was a legal way to ship to you I would do so for a few bucks each. Drilling a hole will do it but you would need to be sure it is air tight when not pouring. Go to an auto store and find the rubber plugs with a double middle, drill the hole so they snap in. Or take a couple out of the door of your truck and use those.

One thing for sure, that gator would sure make a nice pair of shoes or boots once he is finished with his dinner!