golf joke, well sort of!

[Jon 533]

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf

course, became confused as to where he was on the course.

Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked

up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew

what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole,

and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."

He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the

same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same

request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole

behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again he

thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw

the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the

bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she

was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in

appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the

sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."

"No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She

said, "See I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman

for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"

[seymore 90]

:rotfl: :rotfl: That's a HOOT:cool:

[RyanH 14]

>>>>>>> A husband and wife were out enjoying a round of golf about to tee off

>>>>>>> on the third hole which was lined by beautiful homes. The wife hit

>>>>>>> her shot and the ball began to slice. Her shot was headed directly

>>>>>>> at a very large plate glass window. Much to their surprise, the ball

>>>>>>> smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.

>>>>>>> They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see

>>>>>>> what had happened.

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> When they peeked inside the home, they could find no one there. The

>>>>>>> husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation,

>>>>>>> they saw a gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> The wife said, "Do you live here?"

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> "No, someone just hit a ball through that window, knocked over the

>>>>>>> vase you see there, and freed me from that little bottle. I am so

>>>>>>> grateful", he answered.

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> The wife, said, "Are you a genie?"

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> "Oh why yes, I am. In fact, I am so grateful, I will grant you two

>>>>>>> wishes, the third I will keep for myself," the man replied.

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> The husband and wife agreed on two wishes... one was for a scratch

>>>>>>> handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The

>>>>>>> other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever. The genie

>>>>>>> nodded and said, "Done!" The genie now said, "For my wish I would

>>>>>>> like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for

>>>>>>> many years and afterall, I have made you a scratch golfer and

>>>>>>> millionaire." The husband and wife agreed.

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> After the genie and wife finished, the genie asked the wife, "How

>>>>>>> long have you been married?"

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> She replied, "Three years."

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> The genie then asked, "How old is your husband?"

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> To which she responded, "31 years old."

>>>>>>>

>>>>>>> The genie then asked, "How long has he believed in this genie stuff?"