Jump to content
  • 0
Sign in to follow this  
One Tough Pressure

Kids say the funniest things

Question

You Gotta Love Kids

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he

was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most

caring child.

The winner was:

A four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly

gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the

little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just

sat there.

When his mother asked him what he had said to the neighbor, the

little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

*********************************************

Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing a picture of a

family. One little boy in the picture had a different color hair

than the other family members. One child suggested that he was adopted.

A little girl said, "I know all about adoptions because I was

adopted."

"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child.

It means," said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's heart instead

of her tummy."

********************************************************

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the

doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll

find Big Bird in here?"

The little girl stayed silent.

Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her

throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?"

Again, the little girl was silent.

Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to

her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?"

"Oh, no!" the little girl replied.

"Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."

*******************************************

On my way home one day I stopped to watch a Little League baseball

game that was being played in a park near my home.

As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one

of the boys what the score was.

"We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile."

Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."

"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Why

should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet.

********************************************

Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think

about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was trying out for a part in a school

play.

His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though

she feared he would not be chosen.

On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him

after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and

excitement.

"Guess what Mom," he shouted, and then said those words that will

remain a lesson to me............................

"I've been chosen to clap and cheer"

**********************************************

An Eye Witness Account from New York City, on a cold day in

December some years ago:

A little boy about 10 years old was standing before a shoe store on

the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with

cold.

A lady approached the boy and said, "My, but you're in such deep

thought staring in that window!"

"I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes," was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand and went into the store and asked the

clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then

asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel.

He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and,

removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with

a towel.

By this time the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair

upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the

remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him. She patted him on

the head and said, "No doubt, you will be more comfortable now".

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and

looking up into her face........ with tears in his eyes, asked

her ..

"Are you God's Wife?"

************************************************

SEND TO ALL WHO LOVE AND CARE FOR CHILDREN Hope this put a smile on

your face.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 answer to this question

Recommended Posts

  • 0

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether

they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or

students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can

take comfort from the thought that even God's

omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After

creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve.

And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden

fruit!!!!!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He

hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later

God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know", said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment

was that Adam and Eve should have children of their

own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give

children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be

hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children,

what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for

you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life

teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the

next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your

own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat

their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually

repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is

to remind yourself that there are children more awful

than your own.

6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still

getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will

choose your nursing home.

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET

A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×