This is funny. ( in no way does it reflect my personal beliefs.)
BUSH, CHENEY DIFFER OVER WHO’S ON FIRST
Confusing Dialogue Dominates 9/11 Testimony
The closed-door testimony of President George W. Bush and Vice-President Richard Cheney before the 9/11 commission went off the rails yesterday when Mr. Bush opened the session by asking Mr. Cheney, “Who’s on first?”
The President, who merely wanted to know whether he or Vice-President Cheney should testify first, inadvertently opened a rhetorical Pandora’s box as the entire session devolved into a series of tangled misunderstandings and miscues.
A transcript of the session, released by the commission later in the day, reads as follows:
Bush: Who’s on first?
Cheney: What?
Bush: Not what, who.
Cheney: Who what?
Bush: Who’s on first?
Cheney: That’s what you just said.
Bush: ****?
Cheney: What?
Bush: ****’s on first?
Cheney: Which ****?
Bush: Which **** what?
Cheney: Which dickwad?
Bush: No!
Cheney: Which dickwad knows what?
Bush: Never mind.
Cheney: Never mind which dickwad knows what?
Bush: Which dickwad knows who’s on first.
Cheney: What?
Bush: Who’s on first?
Cheney: That’s what you just said.
Bush: (smacks forehead)
Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney continued in a similar vein for the next forty minutes, after which the commissioners, “thoroughly drained and exhausted” according to one account, cut short the session and went home.
In a related story, the White House announced that on June 30 Iraqi sovereignty would be transferred to Vice-President Cheney’s bank account in Switzerland.
“The sovereignty will remain in Vice-President Cheney’s account until the security situation in Iraq improves, but the Iraqi people can come visit it whenever they want,” the White House statement read.
**** BOROWITZ AT THE TRIBECA FILM FESTIVAL ****
Andy Borowitz moderates the panel “Politics as Entertainment” Sunday May 9 at the Tribeca Film Festival. For ticket info go to www.tribecafilmfestival.org
This is funny. ( in no way does it reflect my personal beliefs.)
BUSH, CHENEY DIFFER OVER WHO’S ON FIRST
Confusing Dialogue Dominates 9/11 Testimony
The closed-door testimony of President George W. Bush and Vice-President Richard Cheney before the 9/11 commission went off the rails yesterday when Mr. Bush opened the session by asking Mr. Cheney, “Who’s on first?”
The President, who merely wanted to know whether he or Vice-President Cheney should testify first, inadvertently opened a rhetorical Pandora’s box as the entire session devolved into a series of tangled misunderstandings and miscues.
A transcript of the session, released by the commission later in the day, reads as follows:
Bush: Who’s on first?
Cheney: What?
Bush: Not what, who.
Cheney: Who what?
Bush: Who’s on first?
Cheney: That’s what you just said.
Bush: ****?
Cheney: What?
Bush: ****’s on first?
Cheney: Which ****?
Bush: Which **** what?
Cheney: Which dickwad?
Bush: No!
Cheney: Which dickwad knows what?
Bush: Never mind.
Cheney: Never mind which dickwad knows what?
Bush: Which dickwad knows who’s on first.
Cheney: What?
Bush: Who’s on first?
Cheney: That’s what you just said.
Bush: (smacks forehead)
Mr. Bush and Mr. Cheney continued in a similar vein for the next forty minutes, after which the commissioners, “thoroughly drained and exhausted” according to one account, cut short the session and went home.
In a related story, the White House announced that on June 30 Iraqi sovereignty would be transferred to Vice-President Cheney’s bank account in Switzerland.
“The sovereignty will remain in Vice-President Cheney’s account until the security situation in Iraq improves, but the Iraqi people can come visit it whenever they want,” the White House statement read.
**** BOROWITZ AT THE TRIBECA FILM FESTIVAL ****
Andy Borowitz moderates the panel “Politics as Entertainment” Sunday May 9 at the Tribeca Film Festival. For ticket info go to www.tribecafilmfestival.org
The Borowitz Report
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