Lost Puppy

[One Tough Pressure 580]

Subject: Lost puppy

My neighbor has lost her puppy and is desperate to find him. She does a lot of traveling and always brings her dog with her.

Yesterday, she was sitting on the couch watching TV when she realized she hadn't seen her pup in a while and couldn't even begin to think when or where she last saw him.

She has been putting up signs everywhere. If you have seen this dog, please let me know and I will notify her. Your help would be greatly appreciated, thanks in advance.

[One Tough Pressure 580]

Eight Words With Two Meanings

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female...... Any part under a car's hood.

Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.

Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.

Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in

it.

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit

on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave

you?

She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?

She said . . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and

Good- looking?

She said . . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every

night?

He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?

She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to

bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.