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Don Phelps

Help Wanted!

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HELP WANTED

Entry level position.

Starts $8 per hour.

Primarily we clean roofs and gutters, pressure wash and trim trees.

Looking for someone who is not allergic to sweat.

Must be able to work without a coffee cup in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Must understand that it's OK for the boss to make a profit.

Must understand that company vehicles are not to be used for crash tests and are not receptacles for your personal trash.

Must own and know how to operate an alarm clock.

Must not request more days off than the boss.

Must not ask the boss for a raise if you've turned down overtime.

Must understand that opening day of fishing and hunting season are not considered automatic days off.

If you think it's OK to be late to work, I'm sure you won't mind if your check is late also.

Having your wife or girlfriend call about this job does not demonstrate that you have good delegating skills.

If you've had more jobs than you can remember in the past year, do not call to brag about how many trades you know.

If you take company tools and supplies home and never return them, do not apply.

If you like to work a couple months and collect unemployment the rest of the year, do not apply.

If you only believe in taking a shower, dressing decent and brushing your teeth on the day you apply for this job, do not apply.

If most of your work experience is making license plates we are not authorized to make or sell them.

If you always seem so much smarter than the people you work for, start your own business.

This is a copy of a 'Help Wanted' ad from the Money Saver in Eugene, Oregon on December 11, 2005

Credit-

Ed Kuvlesky

Best Choice Window Cleaning

Vero Beach, FL

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HELP WANTED

Entry level position.

Starts $8 per hour.

Primarily we clean roofs and gutters, pressure wash and trim trees.

Looking for someone who is not allergic to sweat.

Must be able to work without a coffee cup in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Must understand that it's OK for the boss to make a profit.

Must understand that company vehicles are not to be used for crash tests and are not receptacles for your personal trash.

Must own and know how to operate an alarm clock.

Must not request more days off than the boss.

Must not ask the boss for a raise if you've turned down overtime.

Must understand that opening day of fishing and hunting season are not considered automatic days off.

If you think it's OK to be late to work, I'm sure you won't mind if your check is late also.

Having your wife or girlfriend call about this job does not demonstrate that you have good delegating skills.

If you've had more jobs than you can remember in the past year, do not call to brag about how many trades you know.

If you take company tools and supplies home and never return them, do not apply.

If you like to work a couple months and collect unemployment the rest of the year, do not apply.

If you only believe in taking a shower, dressing decent and brushing your teeth on the day you apply for this job, do not apply.

If most of your work experience is making license plates we are not authorized to make or sell them.

If you always seem so much smarter than the people you work for, start your own business.

This is a copy of a 'Help Wanted' add from the Money Saver in Eugene, Oregon on December 11, 2005

Credit-

Ed Kuvlesky

Best Choice Window Cleaning

Vero Beach, FL

if you hire me can i take 3 days off a week cause i like to hunt and fish .i get $500 a week and paid vacation and can i use the truck to go 4 wheeling .lol

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if this sounds like the majority of the applicants you interviewed....they just might be a redneck! :)

Thanks for the laugh.

Rod!~

Who's laughing? If you found this funny, consider yourself fortunate. The rest of us saved the file to run as our next help wanted ad. :(

I've even come back from a quote to find my rig in the driveway at noon. The employee called me 6 *weeks* later to get their final check.

Philip

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