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The Rob

Think before speaking!

Question

Via the Stone Files:

Here are 6 reasons why you should think before you speak - the last

one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the

words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials

of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and

asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned

around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a

word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was

unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for

several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who

works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at

him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a

variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy

behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just

looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned,

and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me

forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release

some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her

after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I

told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be

punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as

threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you

kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after

this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I

mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my

daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,

were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My

three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and was on

him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between

errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my

taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my sev! en-month-old

daughter, and she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go

potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I

kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't

have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an

accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an

accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,

"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down

his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST

FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos

laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel

better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very

embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think

before she s peaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a

true story... We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was

supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to

leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

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