Here are 6 reasons why you should think before you speak - the last
one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials
of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned
around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a
word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned,
and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me
forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and was on
him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my
taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my sev! en-month-old
daughter, and she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I
kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't
have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down
his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel
better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she s peaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a
true story... We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
Via the Stone Files:
Here are 6 reasons why you should think before you speak - the last
one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the
words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials
of a few people who did....
FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned
around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a
word...he knew better.
SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was
unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for
several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who
works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at
him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."
THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy
behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just
looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned,
and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me
forget.
FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her
after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I
told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be
punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as
threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after
this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I
mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my
daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me,
were screams of laughter.
FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My
three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and was on
him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between
errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my
taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my sev! en-month-old
daughter, and she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go
potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I
kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't
have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an
accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down
his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST
FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel
better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!
LAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very
embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think
before she s peaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any... a
true story... We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to
leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
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