mhpoole 14 Report post Posted March 31, 2005 This was just added to my site. Please correct any grammer mistakes for me if you would. http://www.waterworksnw.com/stainpage.html Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
0 Scott Stone 604 Report post Posted March 31, 2005 it is grammar Scott Stone Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
0 PressurePros 249 Report post Posted March 31, 2005 Mark, the copy looks good, nice job. There are a few places where the spelling, grammar or clarity needs to be revised. First the spelling and syntax: 1)First line, "guarantee's" has no apostrophe. It's just "guarantees" 2) Long-Term needs to be hyphenated 3) "or if you would like a estimate please feel free to contact us and you will receive a prompt reply." "a" needs to be changed to "an" 4) Mildewcide does not need to be hyphenated. Clarity and Emphasis (these are merely suggestions) 1) This line "**Beware of.." would be better suited all capitalized and a larger font used. It is the basis for the page. 2) The quotation marks around "claiming" are not neccessary. I think they promote overly dramatic emphasis and gave me a feeling that the rest of the paragraph was going to be a slam or rant. Customers are looking for information, let them put their own inflection into the words. 3) In the second line, maybe you could change "big" to "recurrent"..in Oregon we have a recurrent mold problem. 4) The next line is vague. "For this product to work properly the entire board or log must be covered which can only happen if done prior to construction" What product? At first read it may confuse the person reading it. I know you meant the competing product, but perhaps you could modify the sentence to read something like this.. "For these products claiming 25 years of protection, you would have to coat all sides of the lumber. This is only possible at the time of construction." 5) "If this sealant is applied and mold and mildew come up from underneath there is no way to remove this product. You will have to replace your deck to get the desired results." It may read better like this "If this type of sealant is applied, mold and mildew may still grow from underneath the structure. Removal of a permanent sealer of this type is very costly if not virtually impossible. You may actually end up having to replace the wood to get the desired results" 6) The last line first paragraph.. I understand what you are saying and it is valid. Maybe a softer way, while getting your message across could read "In our experience, products claiming results that are too good to be true, usually do end up being too good to be true" 7) Second paragraph under Stains and Sealers the lettering you have in blue colored font should be changed. Most people expect that blue lettering to be an active link. I hope this helps. I know it seems like many changes but since you asked, this is merely what I would do in terms of changes. Best of all to you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
0 RyanH 14 Report post Posted March 31, 2005 to: I'm going TO the store. to: We are going TO do it. too: We have TOO much. too: I'm TOO hungry TO go without eating for TOO long. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
0 Don Phelps 85 Report post Posted April 1, 2005 The one I notice most is 'alot' as opposed to 'a lot.' 'Alot' isn't a word. I never see anyone use 'alittle' as a word. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
0 RyanH 14 Report post Posted April 1, 2005 neither are appropriate. With all the controversy over whether or not it should be "a lot" or "alot," the consensus is that the term is slang either way and should be avoided except in casual circumstances. Suggested replacements are: many, a great deal, etc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
0 Mike Williamson 198 Report post Posted April 2, 2005 The one I notice most is 'alot' as opposed to 'a lot.' 'Alot' isn't a word. I never see anyone use 'alittle' as a word. I haven't seen itmuch, but I have seenit alittle. :lgbonk: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
This was just added to my site. Please correct any grammer mistakes for me if you would.
http://www.waterworksnw.com/stainpage.html
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