stupid laws

Chappy · December 14, 2004

Canada

National Laws

Every fifth song on Canadian radio must be by a Canadian born citizen.
You may not pay for a fifty-cent item with only pennies.
Citizens may not publicly remove bandages.

Alberta

Province Laws

Businesses must provide rails for tying up horses.
Wooden logs may not be painted.
You may never use dice to play craps.

City Laws

If you are released from prison, it is required that you are given a handgun with bullets and a horse, so you can ride out of town.

British Columbia

Province Laws

It is illegal to kill a sasquatch.

New Brunswick

Province Laws

Driving on the roads is not allowed.

Nova Scotia

Province Laws

When raining, a person may not water his/her lawn.

Ontario

Province Laws

The speed limit is 80 kph for cars, but bicyclists have the right of way.

City Laws

Etobicoke

Bylaw states that no more than 3.5 inches of water is allowed in a bathtub.

Cobourg

If you have a water trough in your front yard it must be filled by 5:00 a.m.

Gananoque

Homeowners are responsible for clearing snow off of municipal sidewalks.

Guelph

The city is classified as a no-pee zone.

Kanata

The color of house and garage doors is regulated by city bylaws (a purple door get you a fine). It is also illegal to have a clothes line in your backyard.
You can't work on your car in the street.

Oshawa

It's illegal to climb trees.
Homeowners are responsible for clearing snow off of municipal sidewalks. If sidewalks is not cleaned within 24 hours after a snowfall, city workers will clean it and the cost will be placed on the homeowners tax bill.

Ottawa

It is illegal to eat ice-cream on Bank Street on a Sunday.

Toronto

You can't drag a dead horse down Yonge St. on a Sunday.

Uxbridge

Residents are not allowed to have an Internet connection faster than 56k.

Wawa

You may not paint ladders, because if it is wet it is slippery.
It is illegal to show public affection on Sunday.

Quebec

Province Laws

It is illegal to turn right on a red light at any time.

All business signs in the province of Quebec must be in French. If the business operator wishes to have English on the sign, the French must be at least twice as large as the English is. There are no laws governing the usage of other languages on signs. -Bill 101 (Passed 1976)

No language other than French is permitted to be shown out doors.

City Laws

Beaconsfield

It is considered an offense to have more than two colors of paint on your house.
You may not own a log cabin.

Montréal

The Queen Elizabeth Hotel must feed your horse freely when you rent a room.
You may not wash your car in the street.
You may not park a car in such a way that it is blocking your own driveway.
"For Sale" signs are not permitted in the windows of moving vehicles.
Cars parked in public places must be locked, and their windows must be down to less than the width of a hand.
One's rear license plate may not be protected by glass or plastic.
You may not swear in French.
Citizens may not relieve themselves or spit on the street. Punishable by a fine of over 100 Canadian dollars.

Outremont

Not only do all exterior painting jobs require a permit (for color) but, for instance, the City went to Appeals Court over the exact type of division inside a window frame.

Chappy · December 14, 2004

USA

Back

Alabama

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.
Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death.
Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.
It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.
Masks may not be worn in public.
Men may not spit in front of the opposite ***.
You may not drive barefooted.

Alaska

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.
It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

Arizona

Hunting camels is prohibited.
Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.
There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.
Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.
It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Arkansas

The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"
A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
No person shall be permitted under any pretext whatever, to come nearer then fifty feet of any door of window of any polling room, from the opening of the polls until the certification of the returns. -Arkansas Law, section 4761

California

Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
Removing your clothes in a bath house is against the law.
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
Women may not drive in a house coat.
No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
It is illegal to own a gerbil, hamster or ferret.

Colorado

Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed)
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.

Conecticut

You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.
In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on sundays.

Delaware

It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

Florida

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.
A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.
If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.
It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.
Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.
It is considered an offense to shower naked.
You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

Georgia

It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.
You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.
Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.
Signs are required to be written in English.
No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

Hawaii

All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.

Idaho

Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
You may not fish on a camel's back.
It is considered an offense to ride on a merry-go-round on Sundays.

Illinois

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.
You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation.
You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.
The English language is not to be spoken.

Indiana

Baths may not be taken Between the months of October and March.
A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.
It is against the law to pass a horse on the street in Indiana.
It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.
Liquor stores may not sell milk.
Grocery stores may not sell any type of liquor cold.
You may not back into a parking spot. Police officers cannot see your license plate.
Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.
The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415. (Repealed)

Iowa

Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.
One-armed piano players must perform for free.
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

Kansas

Prohibits shooting rabbits from a motorboat.
Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.
No one may catch fish with his bare hands.
The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.
If two trains shall meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.

Kentucky

No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500.
Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100).
All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)

Louisiana

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."
It is illegal to gargle in public places

Maine

After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
You may not step out of a plane in flight.
Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.

Maryland

Thistles may not grow in one's yard.

Massachusetts

Mourners at a wake may not eat more than three sandwiches.
Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.
Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.
All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Repealed)
Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.
It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.
A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.
Tattooing and body piercing is illegal.
Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.
Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.
Quakers and witches are banned.
Bullets may not be used as currency.
Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.
Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.

Michigan

A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.
There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.
You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.
Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony

Minnesota

A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop their head.
It is illegal to sleep naked.
All men driving motorcycles must wear shirts.
Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head.
All bathtubs must have feet.

Mississippi

Cattle rustling is punishable by hanging.
Horses are not to be housed within 50 feet of any road.
Adultery or Fornication (living togeather while not married or having *** with someone that is not your spouse) results in a fine of $500 and/or 6 months in prison.
Vagrancy is punishable by either 30 days in prison or a $201 fine.

Missouri

It is not illegal to speed.(Repealed)

Montana

Seven or more indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Repealed)
It is illegal for a man and a woman to have *** in any other position other than missionary style. (Repealed)
In Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
It is a felony for a wife to open her husband's mail.
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.

Nebraska

A parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.
It is Illegal to go whale fishing.
It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.

Nevada

It's still "legal" to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway

New Hampshire

You may not tap your feet, nod your head, or in any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
It is considered an offense to check into a hotel under an assumed name.
It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to gather its feces.
You may not run machinery on Sundays.
On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up.

New Jersey

You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.
On a highway you can not park under a bridge.
It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.
Car dealerships are forbidden from opening.
You may not slurp your soup.
Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.
It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon

New Mexico

State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

New York

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
It's illegal to speak to a person while riding in an elevator and you must fold your hand while looking towards the foward opening door.
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.

North Carolina

It's against the law to sing off key.
Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
State law mandates that all couples staying in rooms for one night must be kept in room with double beds, kept a minimum of two feet apart, and making love on the floor between the beds is strictly forbidden.
It is illegal to have *** in a churchyard.

North Dakota

Beer & pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
It is legal to shoot an indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon.

Ohio

In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the speaker's stand, you can be fined $25.00.
Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.
It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.
It is illegal to get a fish drunk.
The Ohio driver's education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.
Participating or conducting a duel is prohibited.

Oklahoma

Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
Whaling is illegal.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of an farm animal in your boots.
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
Tattoos are banned.
No one may spit on a sidewalk.
It is illegal to have *** before you are married.
It is considered an offense to take part in oral ***.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.

Oregon

Dishes must drip dry.
It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during ***.
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e.,that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.

Pennsylvania

It is contrary to Pennsylvania law to discharge a gun, cannon, revolver or other explosive weapon at a wedding.
Any motorist driving along a country road at night must stop every mile and send up a rocket signal, wait 10 minutes for the road to be cleared of livestock, and continue.
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
You may not sing in the bathtub.
Fireworks stores may not sell fireworks to Pennsylvania residents.
A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated in a duel.
Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear skittish, the motorist must take his car apart, piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bushes.
Dynamite is not to be used to catch fish.

Rhode Island

Rhode Island recently applied to the US Government to make all the coastal waters of Rhode Island a "No Discharge Zone". The ostensible purpose was to prohibit the discharge of sewage by boats into the state's waters. However, discharge of raw sewage into the state waters was already illegal. What the "No Discharge Zone" actually did was make it illegal to discharge TREATED sewage from a boat into state waters. What now happens is that boats (whose treatment systems far outperform municipal sewage treatment plants) are now required to disable their sewage treatment systems, and carry their sewage to a shore-based facility, which then dumps the partially treated sewage back into Rhode Island's coastal waters.
Impersonating a town sealer, auctioneer, corder of wood, or a fence-viewer. Penalty: $20 to $100 fine.
Erecting or placing a windmill within twenty-five (25) rods of any traveled street or road.
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is null and void.
It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

South Carolina

It is a capital offense to inadvertently kill someone while attempting suicide.
Every adult male must bring a rifle to church on Sunday in order to ward off Indian attacks.
It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.
When approaching a four way or blind intersection in a non-horse driven vehicle you must stop 100 ft from the intersection and discharge a firearm into the air to warn horse traffic.
Horses may not be kept in bathtubs.
It is considered an offense to get a tattoo.
Performing a U-turn within 1,000 feet of an intersection is illegal.

South Dakota

No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten, or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may shoot them.

Tennessee

You can't shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
Hollow logs may not be sold.
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
Driving is not to be done while asleep.
The age of consent is 16, but 12 if the girl is a virgin.
It is legal to gather and consume roadkill. (Repealed)

Texas

A city ordinance states that a person cannot go barefoot without first obtaining a special five-dollar permit.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
You can be legally married by publically introducing a person as your husband or wife 3 times.
It is illegal to drive without windshield wipers. You don't need a windshield, but you must have the wipers.
It is illegal for one to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.
It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Utah

It is against the law to fish from horseback.
When a person reaches the age of 50, he/she can then marry their cousin.
It is illegal not to drink milk.
It is illegal to detonate any nuclear weapon. You can have them, but you just can't detonate them.
Birds have the right of way on all highways.
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
You're not allowed to sell beverages containing more than 3.2% alcohol.
It's legal for restaurants to serve wine with meals, but only if you ask for the wine list.
No one may have *** in the back of an ambulance if it is responding to an emergency call.

West Virginia

No children may attend school with their breath smelling of "wild onions."
It is legal for a male to have *** with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
It is illegal to snooze on a train.
Doctors and dentists may not place a woman under anesthesia unless a third person is present.
According to the state constitution, it is unlawful for anyone to own a red or a black flag.
You may not wear a hat inside a theater. Punishable by fine.
Roadkill may be taken home for supper.
Whistling underwater is prohibited.

Wisconsin

You must manually flush all urinals in a building.
Citizens may not murder their enemies.
All yellow butter substitute was banned in the state. People used to smuggle it in from Illinois.
At one time, margarine was illegal.
State Law made it illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.
Cheese making requires a cheese maker's license; Limburger cheese-making requires a master cheese maker's license.

Wyoming

It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or place of amusement.
It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.

RyanH · December 14, 2004

Another for Georgia...thou shalt not commit oral *** :lglolly:

whatever.

Beth n Rod · December 14, 2004

My son had to do a World History report last year on the Stupid Laws. (Honors class too) The teacher gave out the URL and said they could use anything they wanted. He happened to choose Arizona as one of the three states he reported on. Ummm.... there were many giggles....and some embarrasment. He was 13 at the time.

Beth

One Tough Pressure · December 15, 2004

Where did you find these? They are not all correct, as it is legal in California to own hamster's.

Beth n Rod · December 15, 2004

I think they are on the books but not being used.... ;)

Scott Stone · December 15, 2004

Arizona
Hunting camels is prohibited.

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

You may not have more than two dildos in a house

Just a couple of comments. The camel thing is real. In the 1880's the US military imported camels to work in the desert. The let them go free range, so they did not want people killing them because they did not know what kind of critter they were, so it was made illegal.

The Cactus law is an effort to stop Cactus poaching. There are people that will pay up to $25,000 for a large Saquaro cactus. The Cactus forests are really depleted from when I grew up. If you want to transplant a catus, you have to have a license and permit, and the tag has to stay with the cactus for the rest of it's life.

The water thing is due to the heat. Just like there are some roads in Montana that is illegal to not pick up a hitch hiker in winter. It is a necessity of living here.

I will not go anywhere near the ***** thing. (let's say we are pretty conservative out here)

Jon · December 15, 2004

Just be sure the airport inspectors do a doulbe check on the suitcases whenever Hillary Clinton arrives since she is very liberal.

Celeste · December 16, 2004

These are actually real....really? That is hilarious!

bkwelker · December 16, 2004

It is nice to know that being in Georgia, if a customer argues about my price, I can just sock him in the nose...

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