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Jon

If your Catholic and offended I appolize in advance for this joke.

Question

ITALIAN BOY'S CONFESSION

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."

The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?"

"Yes, Father, it is."

"And who was the woman you were with?"

"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."

"Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Teresa Volpe?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Nina Capelli?"

"I'm sorry but I cannot name her."

"Was it Cathy Piriano?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"

"Four months vacation and five good leads........"

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Guy's in bed with a married woman,and they hear a car door slam. Woman says thats my husband,and if he catches us, he'll kill us both. Man jumps up,runs all around the room collecting his cloths,jumps in the closet and closes the door.

Hears a little voice in the closet say "DARK IN HERE ISN'T IT" , looks down, and there is this 5 year old boy standing there. Boy says thats my mommy out there,and if you don't give me some money "I'm going to scream".

Look kid "I'll give you twenty bucks".

Kid says "I'm going to scream".

Look kid "I'll give you forty bucks".

Kids says "I'm going to scream".

Look "I'll give you sixty five bucks,It's all the money I have".

He gives the boy $65 dollars,an hour goes by, he gets out of the closet and gets away.

Next day the boy's out shopping with his mommmy. He says mommy, I want a two wheel bicycle. Honey we can't afford a two wheel bicycle.Kid says "sure we can I've got sixty five dollars".

"Where'd you get the money"?

"I'm not telling you".

So she takes him down to the church and says "Father my son has sixty five dollars and he won't tell me where he got it". Father grabs the little boy by the ear, takes him into the confession box and slamms the door.

Little boy says "Dark in here isn't", and the priest says "Don't start that s--t again".

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